


Emma Goldman v Ayn Rand ERB

by SemiFeralCatLady



Category: Epic Rap Battles of History
Genre: Death Threats, Graphic Language, Humiliation, I just wanted to save this somewhere, Implied Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Other, Politcs, Slang, Slurs, Slut Shaming, drug references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 15:09:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21304106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SemiFeralCatLady/pseuds/SemiFeralCatLady
Summary: This is just an Epic Rap Battle of History that my dumb fan ass made up. It’s Ayn Rand, the mother of Objectivism, vs. the anarchist and worker’s rights advocate Emma Goldman, declared the most dangerous woman alive during the first half of the 20th century.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Emma Goldman v Ayn Rand ERB

Emma:

Let’s do this! It’s the worker’s champ

Squaring off against the rich man’s rubber

stamp!

I inspired direct action

You inspired uninspired brats

Who grew up to build detention camps

Now here comes your very first leasson on class.

First you need to pull your Fountainhead out of

your ass.

Sucking up to the rich

Never scratches that itch

Just ask Marie how shit goes down when the

poor get sassed!

Your books feel endless but your morals are absent

Even your sex scenes seem to take a stand

against consent

Tell your readers “Rise up!”

But all you do is punch down.

We know you’re poppin ‘stead of snortin,

Cause your nose is too brown!

I’m Emma!

Passing out haymakers

Since the Haymarket

With somone objectivly shitty in target

Your bibliography’s a joke

Check out your fandom

Spittin such nonsense

Shoulda’ called you Ayn Random!

My bars are Gold, man!

My flow is fantastic!

The only gold you got is

In mental gymnastics!

You can’t shrug me off!

Your wordplay is tame!

The only bomb you ever dropped

Was when you changed your name!

Ayn:

You looter! You’ve got nothing to proclaim!

I’m in the senate and wallstreet’s hall of fame

You’re a nobody! Nothing but third rate crook

Who wasn’t fit to be a villain in one of my books

Existence exists, unlike your style

Or memorable speeches that you could

compile

So maybe you just have a seat for a while

While I look through my notes and try to find

your file.

Ah! There she is, Emma G!

Russia’s biggest mistake till they

Got rid of me.

Deportee... prison bitch...

Works with needles but she can’t give me a

single stitch!

Even as socialists go

You’re the whackest!

Lenin himself put

Your ass on the blacklist!

You stanned for the man

Who canned the most bland

And random head of state ...

Well planned, mate!

Your body and your body of work

Can’t hold a candle to me

You tried to unite people

But I formed a society!

I achieved all my objectives 

I’m one of a kind, man!

Pullin so much green in

Call me Dolla Sign Rand!

You wanna talk gold?

My books are still best sellin

I’m Modern philosophy’s Google 

You’re shit’s still AOLin’!

  
I set the stage 

for the model of the future 

Good thing you’re a nurse

Your career needs some sutures

My look is so slick!

Your form is straight saggin

Lookin like some Ma Gogan

From some freakin Pete’s Dragon!

Now, if you can still think straight

Through all the salt...

Tell me, who is John Gault?

Emma:

I’m supposed to be impressed

By your imaginary friend?

Or your middle school philosophy

That trust fund kids defend

Pretty sure that you wrote fiction

Just to hide your contradictions

You don’t fool me Nostra-dumbass

You’ve no talent for predictions

That’s some hella boring fantasy

Where did you get this schlock?

You think you nailed the future?

You’re in for a Bio-shock!

Your legacy’s a tragedy!

From Greenspan to Shapiro!

You launched a grifting empire

Tomi Lahren 1.0!

Yes I’ll throw down for some Leon

At Least his actions had some style

It aint like I’m getting wet over

Some child killing pedophile!

I spoke truth to power for the little guys

To get the wheels spinning for the marginalized

The only things you ever spun were lies

To keep the one percent anesthetized!

And trust me, we ain’t done

I wanna hear you scream!

So button up, this seamstress

Gonna rip you at the seams!

No love from mom

No hugs from dad

Turned to shopping

To try to make you glad

  
When the soviets took

That hoard of cash

Took your anger out

On the never-hads

Got self obsessed

Redefined the words

Made the rules as you go

Never been deterred

By ethics, reason

Integrity, facts

Blew up your own train

To stop progress in its tracks

Defending the lowest

From racists to rapists

Enabling the richest

To live as escapists

Cashing that welfare

While trying to erase this

Social saftey net

That shit is shameless!

I’ll end any bourgie shill

I don’t give a Frick!

Ride you harder than

You rode your made up boyfriend’s dick!

This is anarchy, trick!

I come at you ruthless!

I’d tell you to bite me

But we all know you’re toothless!

Ayn:

So now little miss bankrupt’s

Started thinking that she’s hot

You hit the scene first but you’ll always be an

afterthought !

And how the fuck you gonna flex on me

About some failed plots

You’re just jealous I was sellin shit

That someone fucking bought

You think you got jabs, bitch?

I’m swingin the strongest

You had more pathetic dudes

In you than congress

Little edgelord bitch!

You ain’t close to bad, kid!

I’ll lay your ass out

Even worse than your dad did!

I’m a verbal Pinkerton

Better keep your distance

Raining lyrical bullets

To break your punk ass resistance!

You’re the biggest threat to progress here

Collectivist savage!

I’ll wash you out

With a monologe!

Activist lavage!

For twelve years, you have been asking...

Emma:

Aw hell to the fuck no!

Ayn:

You’re taking up my precious air! Get off the

stage, ho!

Emma:

TL;DR, nobody cares

I’ll kill this fillabuster, cause this buster’s fulla’

shit!

Ayn:

You’re just quacking cause you’re baking from the fire that I spit!

You’ll dance to my tune puppet! You think just

like a slave!

Emma:

Well I won’t join no revolution where I can’t

dance on your grave!

Ayn:

You can’t top my propaganda! I ripped you like a weed!

  
Emma:

Maybe it’s time you saw

My brand of propoganda!

Indeed!


End file.
